Sacrifices

 

Sacrifices

Everyone makes sacrifices. Each sacrifice made were to prove something, loyalty, trust, and even for love. In my case, I did it for love. 

They were an insomniac, my love for them forcing my clock to shift its hands to match the moments in their day when they can't close their eyes to rest. Even going far as to make me continue ticking without stop. I challenged time, risking life, just to spend moments of infatuating exchanges with them. 

They have skepticism to one's loyalty, told me that their past broke their trust. So, I figured, as they also said that lack of bond contributed largely with that separation, I chose to discard sacred morals I grew up to live up to. I chose to break the trust of who I once deemed superior. Only for the sake of not losing theirs.

They favor connection. Interprets it as the symbol of commitment. "It's what represents our love," they said. And for me, one who got fascinated with this being, to prove that my love for them, I chose to give up the only thing I own in this world. 

Despite continuous efforts to keep them by my side, I still felt invalid. Nonchalance towards these sacrifices made me doubt the supposed role I thought they gave me in their life. Am I really making the right choices? Why do I feel like I'm the only one making an effort? Why do I feel robbed? Am I still existing in their perspective? 

I gave up pieces of what used to complete me, just to prove that I can rebuild you. Why can't you see that? I repudiated every issue that will make you doubt me. I ruined me so I'd turn into an ideal that wasn't even supposed to be what I think is one. What were you doing when I questioned all my sacrifices' worth?

- Richelle Mae Escarlan