I Wish


 

I Wish

As a child, I vividly recall many wonderful moments, such as the times I ran and played with my neighborhood friends, the times I felt the moon was following me, and the times my shadow followed my every move. 


"I want to be a grown-up" was a phrase I uttered often. At the time, I truly meant it. At that age, I fantasize of being an adult so that I can buy as many sweets as I want, exert authority over children, and live my life freely without interference. 


I failed to realize the weight of responsibility that comes with adulthood back then. All I witnessed from grownups was them pushing me to get some sleep and that they can buy whatever they want. I had no idea they had any other responsibility besides them. It aches deeply to think of how much I wanted to grow up when I was younger. Maybe I'm wrong for saying that. 


Sometimes I truly wish I could go back to being a kid. Where I just have to follow what my mama said, then earn a star in my hand, and hear that I did very good. If Mom's in a good mood, she might even treat me to some food or those toys at McDonald's/Jollibee. 


The only problem I had back then was how I would fake my sleep and then sneak my way out of the house. But now, I could talk all day about the problems I've faced, the ones I'm dealing with now, and even the ones that might come up in the future. Sure, I still carry around many characteristics from when I was a child. I still am the same timid, shy, and stubborn kid who despises sleeping. What only changed were the burdens of personal problems, responsibilities, and terrible choices.


In the end, I can't possibly become a kid again regardless of what I say or do, can I? I guess the only option is to accept the bitter truth.


And that is,


We'll never be those kids again.

- Zamwel Damasco


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